Learning to explore and connect more deeply
The practice originating from Hinduism that is commonly linked to sex is way more than that. Tantra is a spiritual practice that proposes diving into everything as completely, as totally, and as consciously as possible. Here, I’ll tell you the story of my journey with Tantra, an eye-opening relationship that I’m so grateful to have found, even though it found me first, right when I needed it most.
What is Tantra?
Tantra is a tradition that originates from Hinduism and Buddhism developed in India in the 1st millennium, approximately. Its main focus, and what makes it unique, is that proposes and empowers a creating a deep and intimate connection with everything you do, yourself and everything around you.
But for me, if I had to define it, Tantra has been a tool for learning to be a human being. It is a tool to bring the sky and all the spiritual beliefs and practices down to an extremely human and super earthly place. It has led me to know my shadows, to make peace with my emotions, to live my duels.
I feel that Tantra is also defined as a network that connects us. Is a type of force, if you wish to call it that, that somehow connects us all and all our processes, showing us how much we are all interconnected with each other.
I love that there is wisdom about it. You know how we’re usually untrusting when we meet new people and they’re way too nice to us, that we feel so comfortable very quickly thinking that something must be wrong. We try to “keep it cool” or not show how fascinated we can be about this person or their story, out of fear of “showing too much”.
Well, I feel like living Tantra teaches you to avoid that acting-through-fear kind of way of life, pushing us to embrace what circumstances and people attract us. In a way, it’s a network in constant movement that is interwoven and that is moving us towards each other and through life.
And this is why Tantra is constantly linked to sex. These deep connections, self-knowledge and learning to live and connect more deeply it’s highly related to sex. But it’s not about a position or anything like that at all, it’s purely out of feeling, experience and connecting with yourself so deeply that every experience you live is so true to you, that makes it more impactful. So, yes, when applying all of this to a sexual experience you’d be living Tantric sex.
How did Tantra come into my life?
The funny thing is that I wasn’t trying to learn about tantra or anything like that, but somehow it found its way to me, regardless. It all started with a Vipassana meditation that opened my mind and automatically –or instinctively– made me start to reason differently with my own body and my sexuality.
Little by little, I began to feel more liberated and comfortable in my own skin. I began to know my shadows, take control of my energy and connect a lot with goddesses. This helped me start to connect with my sexuality. I began to see my relationships as a channel to learning when and where I was not giving myself enough love. I began to welcome pain as part of life and also as part of the expansion of living through the heartbeat of life; of expansion and contraction.
Once there I wanted to know more. And, searching, I realized that all of this was under one roof called Tantra. So, I studied more about it in Ecuador and Costa Rica and while living in Australia, and it all felt as if I was literally coming home, because everything I was looking for or what I felt that my life lacked, I have found in myself thanks to Tantra.
A life-changing experience
Today, I can say that Tantra changed my life. In my experience, I can see that the main change rests in the way I relate to others. It has helped me heal my wound of infidelity, transformed my relationship with my body and with women generating a sisterhood; it has given me knowledge of how to move my subtle energies and sexual energies.
It's a sort of feeling as if through all my life I would’ve had a physical impairment, and then, one day, somebody comes up and asks me why am I not walking on my own when I am able to. And suddenly, I find myself dancing and moving my body, by myself.
So the same thing happens with energies. So much of our energy simply sits there, and we let others move it while all that time we could have been moving it, connecting, opening, closing and understanding our bodies more as an energetic wisdom that moves, more than as something physical. And this realization led me to respect it, to respect my processes, my lights, my shadows and also to stop projecting my wounds onto others and to take control of what I am feeling.
And a very important part of this life-changing experience is that it didn’t only change my life, today I can see that it’s also changing me through what it’s allowing me to share with others. Because, to me, Tantra is a continuous path you never stop learning from. I feel that it acts not only in the way of living it but also in sharing it. And I’m loving the chance to share these teachings, this wisdom and this way of connecting with ourselves and with others.
Because I feel that Tantra it is a tool that is looking for voices of brave women who can take the lead in this new era, who are not afraid of their power to make peace with their strength and start bringing back their wisdom, self-acceptance and sensuality back to the world and to society. This is why I believe I might have been searching for it without knowing it, but I know firmly that tantra also searched for me.
So, when asked if I’d recommend diving into this tantric journey to everyone, I have to say that it’s not simply for everyone. No, Tantra is for those who feel the call not only to empower their light but also to make peace with their shadows, with their anger, with their rage, with their depression, with their anxiety. It's something that doesn't tell you to limit it, it teaches you how to fuel it for your own expansion, and it's not afraid to question what society tells us is not next to our own cyclicality, pushing us to learn for and to ourselves.
I think it's for everyone who wants to look for a little bit of extra meaning in life, to dig a little deeper. It’s for whoever feels that need to reconnect with their own sexuality, with their work, and to find more profound connections in the mundane. The truth is that more often than not sexuality is separated from the spiritual when in reality it’s completely linked.
So, for everyone looking for a more complete way to feel whole, tantra is a beautiful path.
India Pastorelli is a Yoga, Meditation and Tantra teacher specializing in uterus-healing and connecting with the sacred feminine. She is passionate about grieving, the paths connecting life and death, and the many rebirths we get to experience in life and its rituals, particularly as women. She’s a chaman by heart, and you can connect with her through one of her courses and classes in Spanish at Omvocado.com.